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March: When New England Hits Bottom

Kelly Coffey
14 Comments

New Englanders hit bottom in March.

It’s hard to get out of bed, hard to get motivated, hard to be nice to the people we know, and hard not to punch the people we don’t. We’re vitamin D-deficient, we don’t remember what sunlight looks like, and we’re still broke from the holidays. The last time most New Englanders moved was when they walked from the table to the couch at Thanksgiving. 1

This is all completely natural. The word “natural” has gotten a way better rep than it deserves. Sure, babies and puppies are natural, but so are cavities and cancer. It just so happens that the mental-, economic-, emotional-, psychosocial-clustercuss we trudge through every winter is completely, 100% natural.

Back before plumbing was a thing and before the combustion engine and electricity opened the door for wacky inventions like the “balanced diet,” people 2 spent winter eating cheap, fat-storing starches and struggling to keep warm. Long before March arrived all the nutritious food was gone. For months, folks were hungry. They were cold. It was dark. People whittled, slept, shat, and tried to keep babies alive.

And back then, as now, the snow slowly started to melt. Before the last of the ice was gone, the first crocus popped. Then the second. A lettuce leaf shot out of the soil, bellwether of the nutritional orgy to come. People opened their windows. They took baths. They enthusiastically ate green things. They began to move their bodies, working off months of cabin fever repairing damaged homes and sowing seeds.

Today, each and every one of us is walking around depressed, stressed, broke, starving for fresh food, disconnected from our bodies and sick of everyone else’s shit. Let’s face it – beneath all the creature comforts that act as a buffer between us and the natural world, we’re just animals living in New England.

And in March, New Englanders hit bottom.

And when you’ve hit bottom, there’s nowhere to go but up.

So join me, neighbors. Let’s band together and survive the last few weeks of this absurd season. I won’t punch you if you won’t punch me.

Notes:

  1. Let I, and those like me who exercised through the winter be truly grateful. Amen.
  2. The not rich people.
Showing 14 comments
  • Broughton
    Reply

    K –
    Far away in Kentucky an old client misses you but remains connected through fantastic posts that makes her laugh, smile, and sometimes long for the dark days of March. Keep it up…the motivation works most of the time!

    • Coffey
      Reply

      Anderson! I think of you every year when I try to send you a Christmas card and it comes back Return to Sender. You’d think I’d stop trying to send you a card, but noooooooooo.
      I hope you’re well, Hottie.

  • Mark
    Reply

    Hey, great blog. Came across it from your Mind-Body Green article. I lost 75 pounds almost two decades ago and have kept most of it off. I’ve been on the cardio wonder-wheel (running, a lot) for all that time but my body is starting to complain so I started weight-training at age 46. Pretty enjoyable, once you get through the initial few lifting sessions. Your story is inspiring, thanks for sharing it.

    Mark

    • Coffey
      Reply

      Absolutely, Mark. Thanks for taking the time to give me feedback. Be well.

  • Ron
    Reply

    I live in the Berkshires, just found your site. This weather is making want to hurt people. You promise it’s almost spring? Thanks for sharing your story.

    • Coffey
      Reply

      I swear, Ron, it’s coming. Hold on tight, Honey.

  • holly
    Reply

    saw you on mindbodygreen and havent been able to stop reading your blog…until now. caus i read everything. please keep on writing, youre a huge inspiration and i need every bit i can get, i so completely relate to you and thats a first for me, on this long weight loss journey.

  • Tanya Storm
    Reply

    As a Pacific Northwester, I can say this applies to us too! Fun article 🙂

  • Cunning Pam
    Reply

    You know the winter’s been bad when all the “midwestern nice” just flat out disappears. As a native New Englander, the niceness of the locals here (St. Louis) has been baffling and foreign. But lately everyone’s snappish and moody, and I can’t help but feel right at home for this time of year.

    Love your blog, plan to stay a while and read the whole thing. Thank you for writing.

  • Dollie
    Reply

    I enjoy your blog and the fact you have validated my move to CA oh so many years ago (“oh, the snow is sooo pretty during the holidays, don’t you miss it?” pfft!). I wish you a happy spring and as one who has come late to the fitness game yet found new life (age 54 and just started running at age 51), I celebrate your victories, beauty, spunk and strength. Thanks for the wisdom served with spice (it’s easier for me to enjoy it that way). – a new fan.

  • Debbie
    Reply

    I stumbled on your story on facebook. Being from Nova Scotia, Canada, we share your dismally grey, bleak, cold winters. The days are a bit longer now but I still long for the spring arrive. I see those diligent “runners” out in the cold and the yuck doing there thing…pounding the pavement. Somewhere in the back of my head I hear a small voice say “I wish I had the will and the discipline to do that” but my mouth says ” why are they running… nothing is chasing them?” I am the worst kind of overweight person because I project my frustration, and negative attitudes onto my 15 year old who is struggling with her own demons. We seasonally start a new plan to lose weight and get fit. Me… so we can do kool stuff together; her so she can look like the other stick figures at school. I hate that my own body issues are rubbing off on her and I want to change, both the way I look at me and the way my image of me projects to others. Its a day by day thing… sometimes minute by minute. But your blog sure does help get me through the rough times. Thanks for sharing

  • Debbie
    Reply

    I stumbled on your story on facebook. Being from Nova Scotia, Canada, we share your dismally grey, bleak, cold winters. The days are a bit longer now but I still long for the spring arrive. I see those diligent “runners” out in the cold and the yuck doing their thing…pounding the pavement. Somewhere in the back of my head I hear a small voice say “I wish I had the will and the discipline to do that” but my mouth says ” why are they running… nothing is chasing them?” I am the worst kind of overweight person because I project my frustration, and negative attitudes onto my 15 year old who is struggling with her own demons. We seasonally start a new plan to lose weight and get fit. Me… so we can do kool stuff together; her so she can look like the other stick figures at school. I hate that my own body issues are rubbing off on her and I want to change, both the way I look at me and the way my image of me projects to others. Its a day by day thing… sometimes minute by minute. But your blog sure does help get me through the rough times. Thanks for sharing

  • Aqilah Norazman
    Reply

    And it’s now time for Sydney, Australia to hit bottom. Amen.

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