Imagine finally getting
HAPPILY grounded in HEALTHIER habits.


Be the first to know when the next round opens up.

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

I have no patience for jocks and homecoming queens who go on and on about what foods to eat and what exercises to do.

And 'life hacking'? Please.

For smart, capable women like me, knowing what to do isn't so much the problem. The problem is that we've got PhDs in self-sabotage. When it comes to developing a healthier lifestyle, and maintaining that lifestyle, we're at a loss. Even when we try to make just one seemingly reasonable commitment, our effort usually ends up in ashes. 

I created a course for women who relate to my struggle - to give them the tools to stop sabotaging themselves, and start living healthier, more pleasurable lives - inside and out.

I created this course so women like me would never have to waste another cent or another minute on information that didn't apply, teachers who couldn't relate, or suggestions that weren't appropriate.

And I created this course for me, because women who've had to work to develop healthier lifestyles are way more interesting, and way more entertaining, than...well...everyone else. :)


Why Do We Keep Wrestling With 'Solutions' We Know Do NOT Work For Us?

Research shows that most of us end up heavier every time we go on a diet.

In fact, when our primary motivation is to change something we don't like about ourselves, we usually end up worse than when we started, whatever habit we're trying to break. We KNOW this - at least, all the data we've collected in our own research shows it - and yet every year we spend billions searching for the 'right' program. And every year we 'fail'. And every year something inside us tells us that we're the problem. 

We are not the problem. The problem is our approach.


What's the Key to Sustainable Change?

Sustainable behavior change cannot be outsourced. No program, no diet, no book will ever lock us into healthier habits. Even if they could, unless what we were doing brought us pleasure, we’d just be a different flavor of miserable.

In order to get happily grounded in healthier habits, we need to accept that we are pleasure-driven animals, and then learn ways to make our desire for pleasure work for us; specifically, we need  to set the stage for pleasure deeper than the cheap crap we're using - and abusing - just to get by.

Enter Pleasure Principles, stage left.


How Do You Define Pleasure?

There are levels. Deep pleasure is physical comfort. Deep pleasure is mental and emotional peace. We begin to feel it as we get a clearer and more honest perspective on the toxic, sabotaging voice in our heads. Deep pleasure is being empowered to shake it off so we can actually enjoy the moment that we’re in in ways that won't hurt us on the other side.

The Principles set the stage for genuine, lasting pleasure - a feeling deeper and infinitely more satisfying than any quick, fleeting hit.


What Makes Pleasure Principles Different From Other Wellness Courses?

  • Most wellness courses are taught by people who fell out of the womb doing jumping jacks. This course is taught by a personal trainer whose defaults include morbid obesity, addiction, and self-sabotage. 
  • Most wellness courses outline specific diets, restrictions, and exercise regimens, all of which set us up for rebellion and disappointment. This course is for intelligent women who've lived and learned from their pasts.  It's for folks who appreciate that the problem is not WHAT to do, but rather HOW to follow through on the commitments we make to ourselves and our health.
  • Most wellness courses assume that being thin is the be-all-end-all. This course recognizes that there’s a lot more to us than what we weigh, and that in order to feel genuinely well, we need to go deeper. Much deeper.
  • Most wellness courses try to teach you a whole lot of stuff you already know. This course, because it was created by a pleasure-seeker for pleasure-seekers, offers a fresh perspective and practical, useable tools not to be found anywhere else.

Wait, Is This About Losing Weight?

Sure, if that's where you feel stuck. Most folks come with weight loss and fitness goals, only to realize they're using the Principles to build healthier relationships and get back into stuff they used to love to do.

If you struggle to make stronger choices in service to your health and happiness, if you have trouble being consistent or recommiting after a slip, or if you falter when you try to make positive change in any part of your life, you’re exactly where you need to be.

I created this course for you.

Who Am I to Offer a Course on Sustainable Behavior Change?

I don’t know when I started to numb out. I do know that it started with food.

Later I dove into cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, relationships, spending... Anything that helped me change the channel in my head was fair game for abuse.

My vices took the edge off of reality, and calmed my cravings. That cheap, brief relief of craving was something I mistook for pleasure.  Time passed, and soon, my go-tos brought me more and more pain:  more hangovers, more fat, more health problems, deeper depression, higher anxiety, and debt.

I tried to moderate - to eat less, to drink less, to spend less. I tried to quit smoking. I had some success, but I always fell back. Year after year, I got worse - heavier, more disconnected, more uncomfortable, and more dependent on substances and behaviors I wasn't proud of to get me through the day. I realized that I could talk myself out of anything. I knew exercise would be good for me - that it would make me feel better in every way - that didn't seem to matter. I felt like hell, and every year I felt work, and It didn’t seem to matter. 

I felt like I was losing my mind.

How could I be so desperate to feel better, and so incapable of making the choices that would get me there? 

I long believed that being thin would fix me, that it would make me happy, make me healthy, make me better. I went from a size 26 to a size 6 via weight loss surgery. After a few months of partying later, I settled back into my life, and back into my self. Even at a size 6, I as just as unhappy and out of control as I’d always been, but now I was fresh out of ‘solutions.’

Self-loathing knows no pants size. It doesn’t care how much money we make or who we’re sleeping with, how we look or how successful we are. It doesn’t care what we drive or who we know. Until I learned to relate to myself -  and to the horrible voice in my head that just never seemed to give up - in a healthier way, I was never gonna be happy, and I was destined to regain all the weight I’d lost.


Who is the Course For?

My one-on-one clients and online course-takers are mostly women like me: smart, understandably skeptical women who want to feel good in their own heads, in their own bodies, and with the choices they make, day after day.

Most Pleasure-seekers could build Rome in a day, but when it comes to caring for themselves, they default to inaction, self-harm, and self-criticism.

Many are overweight or feel out of control around in some way, and they hate themselves for it.

I often ask my overweight personal training clients, “What about your body brings you the most joy and satisfaction?” Most of the time, my question is met with a blank stare.

“Oh, please,” they say. “There’s nothing good about this.” That, or they just laugh and look at me like I’m out of my mind. If that’s where you’re at, you’re in the right place. I created this course for you, and your time will not be wasted - I'll give you a tool in the very first presentation that’ll help you you feel genuinely invested in yourself and your body as you are (don't worry, it doesn't involve repeating "I love myself" over and over again).

It is only by feeling genuinely invested in oursevles and our bodies as they are that we are able to make caring, healthier choices day after day, even when it's hard (which, let's face facts here, it almost always is). 

(Don't worry - the first class is about how we get to that place of feeling invested in our bodies as they are, even if we're not there yet.)

Meanwhile, if you’re like many past course-takers, and absolutely LOVE the body you’re in, big or small, and you just want to develop healthier habits, you’re also in the right place. Good on you, Baby.

How Did Pleasure Principles Come To Be?

Part of why I’m able to maintain my massive weight loss is that I made peace with my former, 300-pound body, so I don’t fear gaining the weight back.  Fear is uncomfortable, and discomfort begs relief. Keeping my fears in check - and in perspective - makes health and happiness possible for someone like me.

I wrote a love-letter to my former, larger body. 5 Things I Miss About My 300-Pound Body ran on my then-unknown blog. It got more hits than any other piece I’d run. At a client’s recommendation, I pitched it to an online magazine.

Something much bigger than me (HA!) was set in motion the morning that piece ran. It was like a volcano erupted. I got emails and messages from people all over the world - people struggling to get healthy, to develop new habits, to lose weight, and to take better care of themselves generally. Morbidly obese mothers and grandmothers, fathers, uncles, teenagers...people who’d lost 50, 100, 200, 350 pounds...all thanking me for being honest enough to say that there were things to love about being overweight - significant things that no one ever talks about -  and for being brave enough to say it LOUD.

A hundred emails came in before the sun went down. Hundreds more came in that weekend. Then thousands. Women thanked me for giving them a perspective on their large bodies that they’d never had before. They thanked me for giving them real, irrefutable reasons to love themselves as they were. Many had never felt that kind of love. They shared their stories and their struggles. They reached out with more authenticity and more honest beauty than I could wrap my head around.

They also wanted to work with me.

These folks didn’t want workouts. They could go anywhere for that. Diets, too. They wanted more.

They wanted what I had: the tools to get fit and healthy, and to stay that way.

They wanted to work with someone they knew would understand their struggle and respect them through their process.

And they wanted to work with someone they could feel connected to, and un-selfconscious with. (Because - I don't know if you've noticed - isolation and self-consciousness fuel self-sabotage. We're talking bonfires here, folks. Big ones.)

That would be me.

I already had a full-time job, and a wait list with dozens of names on it. I had no more hours to give.

The exact population I was uniquely equipped to help were asking for my support,  and I had to turn them away.

Or did I?

And so began a project that would consume me until it felt complete: Pleasure Principles

What Makes Pleasure Principles Unique?

The Principles stand alone. By the end of the course, you’ll have the tools, the confidence, and the clarity you need to make the strongest choices for you, regardless of your current health, your history, or your resources, from now on.

The Principles can work as a strong supplement to any pre-existing fitness or lifestyle program (assuming that program is a genuinely strong choice for you, which you’ll know beyond a shadow of a doubt by the end of Principle Three).

The Principles offer a clear path to freedom from self-harming behaviors, and a solid foundation for developing new, healthier, more sustainable habits, regardless of what that looks like for you. Course-takers have used the Principles to help free themselves from toxic relationships, all manner of substances, and even debt.

The Principles empower us to make healthier choices, whether the problem is smoking or drinking to excess, internet addiction, compulsive overeating, or, you know, not calling your mom enough.

The Principles were created by a master of self-abuse and self-sabotage. I spent years testing and refining the Principles in my own life, and offering them to my one-on-one training clients, and now they're available to you.

The Principles outline THE PRECISE PATH TO HEALTHY, SUSTAINABLE BEHAVIOR CHANGE, clearly and succinctly, and in a way that is easy to remember (we have built-in forgetters, so that part’s important).

Pleasure Principles was created for the thousands of people that emailed me looking for support from someone they could relate to and knew they could learn from. Specifically, I created it for smart women, busy women, some deeply enmeshed in their professions, others deeply enmeshed in their families, all struggling to follow through with the choices they wanted to make in service to their health. The course had to be fluff-free, because anyone like me would see through filler in a minute. It had to be engaging, because people like me don’t abide boredom. It had to be honest, it had to be true, and it had to be valuable from beginning to end.

 What We'll Cover

  • What encouraged us to develop the reflex to self-criticize, to hide, to avoid, to self-sabotage, and to escape.
  • What skill, if we practice it, works as an effective antidote to self-harming thoughts and behaviors, and under most any conditions.
  • How that skill can be easily recalled and applied in everyday life.
  • What ideas and beliefs have contributed to low or nonexistent motivation, stagnation, and inaction.
  • What three ideas can empower us to get motivated, and to maintain motivation,  despite our circumstances or our histories.
  • What’s pushed us to make choices or to start diets or programs that could never have been effective for us based on our needs, our lives, our abilities, or our resources.
  • What four questions we can ask of any option  - be it an exercise or nutrition plan, a job, a potential date, or any activity or commitment - that can enable us to make the best and most appropriate, sustainable, and life-enhancing choices for us.
  • How we can leverage our desire for pleasure, and use it to get more deeply grounded in the healthiest habits for us.
  • What we can do to make sure we’re our strongest, most patient, and most capable selves, so we’re able to stick to the commitments we’ve made to ourselves and our health.
  • What practical suggestions can help us meet our most basic needs.

Each presentation is 40-50 minutes FULL of rich, fluff-free information and skills, delivered with a little bit of a bite and a wide band of humor. There’s a visual component, beautiful pages of notes to refer to that'll help you internalize the material, and helpful worksheets and handouts to drive it all home.

Near the end of each run of the Principles, I very briefly open the door to my private, subscription-based group for ongoing Principles-based support, The Klatch. The Klatch is a safe space, moderated daily by me, where anyone who wants more direction, support, and practice working the Principles can do so in safety and good humor. It’s unlike any other support-oriented space, mainly because the folks in there are some of the funniest, brightest, and most interesting women on the planet.

I invite you to add all my skills to your toolkit: ideas and tools I’ve been teaching clients since I began my personal training business back in 2007. The course isn’t polished, it’s not sponsored, and some of it may be hard to hear, but it’s the whole truth and nothing but the truth. The Pleasure Principles are the path to healthy, sustinable behavior change, delivered with humor in a way that's easy to recall after the lights go down. 

No matter how far down (or up) the scale we have gone, the Principles can help us get happily grounded in healthier habits - happily grounded for life. 



What's the investment?
$197 USD for the 4-week course, which I run once a season or so. I'll be there to welcome everyone at the start of each of the four 45-55 minute-long presentations. Each presentations is followed immediately by a live, fun, exciting, and no-holds-barred Q&A (me again). There's supplementary materials - handouts include worksheets and notes - for each class, too, that'll help you internalize the material, and help you apply the Principles to YOUR unique situation. 

What if I can't afford $197, but I know I need to take the course?
I'm excited to offer a limited number of scholarships based on need. Scholarship recipients pay $97 (which was the investment during beta runs). The application period for the April program has ended.

Is the course still in beta?
No. The course has been through several trials, and the testing phase is over. Feedback and progress reports from hundreds of course-takers have helped shape the Principles as they stand today. The course is thoughtfully-prepared, the material is tight, and the experience is intimate and upbeat. In short, it rocks.

What’re you pushing?
Pleasure Principles isn’t affiliated with, or sponsored by, any gym, credo, diet plan, lifestyle set, clothing line, shoe manufacturer, pill-pusher, shake-maker, gadget, gizmo, or personality (besides me, of course). I work for my clients, and I hold myself to a very high standard, because I’m an obsessive addict, and when my clients don’t feel taken care of, I feel ill.

Do I have to speak?
I don’t ask course-takers to speak during presentations or Q&As. If you have a question, you'll type it to me in a chat window. Your name will only ever be seen by me, and your work (yes, there’s some written work) will only ever be read by me.

What’s the deal with the Q&As?
The live Q&As are my favorite part of the Pleasure Principles. Q&As happen immediately after each of the four presentations, and last about 30 minutes (sometimes they go longer, but you don’t have to stick around if you’ve got things to do).

Are the Q&As available after the fact?
Q&As are specifically for folks who attend the group presentations, though folks who subscribe to The Klatch have access to all past Q&As (over 10 hours - and growing! - packed with answers to the hardest questions regarding health, habits, and behavior change - really, answering questions this difficult should be an Olympic sport).

How long will I have access to course materials?
Recorded presentations and all supporting materials are available for ONE MONTH after the the fourth class runs. 

Can I just join The Klatch without taking the course?
The Klatch is a special - dare I say sacred - space. Subscriptions are only available to folks who’ve taken the course, and who’re invested in working the Principles in their lives. The door to the group is open to new members only briefly, and once the door is closed, it stays closed until the next run of the class.

How will I know when I can register?
You need to sign up on my mailing list above (and confirm your subscription immediately after – check your email!).

I’m in Auckland / SoHo / Bayonne / Balrothery / Playa del Carmen / etc., can I participate?
Yes! All you need is an internet connection to get a piece of Coffey. Well, her Pleasure Principles, anyway.

I’ve tried every other program, why will this be different for me?
This isn’t a ‘program’ – Coffey’s Pleasure Principles are just that – a set of guidelines you can adopt in your own journey so the healthy changes you want to make can become a part of your life.

What if I’m not ‘fat?’ Should I do this course?
If you want to get happily grounded in healthier habits, regardless of your weight, then taking this course would be a strong choice.

I’m not sure I can commit to meeting every Tuesday / Thursday / Saturday / Whateverday.
That’s OK – recordings of the presentations are available to you until 4 weeks after the course ends.

Wow, the webinar times sure are late / early / not great for me
It’s worth it to you to try to prioritize attending the presentations, I assure you. If you can’t, you’ll have access to the recorded presentations and all supporting materials for one month after the last class runs.

I’m completely strapped for time. Are you going to offer this again?
I sure plan to.

Do I have to buy any special food or equipment to do this course?
If you adopt the Principles, you’ll be buying food you relate to in a healthy way and doing activities you enjoy. If you’re a certain kind of person, that might mean electric eel souffle and whiffle ball. So, maybe – it depends on you.

Will other people know I’m doing this with you? Can I be anonymous?
Yes, your anonymity will be preserved. But can I tell my mom you signed up? I’ll only use your first name.

Do I have to get on a scale?
No. No. No. Absolutely not. No. 

How will I know if it’s working?
You’ll get clear about what healthy practices are right for you, and feel empowered to make the changes you need to make to make those practices a part of your life.

What if I can’t keep it going after the course is over?
One of the Principles deals with inevitable slips, and how to respond to them – I don’t expect you to be perfect. You will falter. And that’s OK. The Principles help get us to a place where we can always get back on track.

Will Coffey share exactly what she does to stay fit?
If you ask me, I will.

What if I want to work with Coffey one-on-one?
You can. The course will be an introduction to my guiding principles. If you feel a connection, or if you recognize that the Principles are your path to getting happily grounded in healthier habits, you can subscribe to The Klatch



I'm committed to helping people like us get happily grounded in healthier habits. Test-drive the Pleasure Principles for one week - attend or watch the first presentation, complete the associated work, and practice the tools from the day of the first presentation to one day before the second presentation. If at any point in those 6 days you don't believe the course is a good fit for you, I'll happily refund your money.

I'll ask for your completed coursework (to make sure you gave the tools a fair chance) and for your feedback (so I can learn from your experience).

The refund request DEADLINE IS 11:50 PM EASTERN TIME APRIL 13TH, A.K.A. Principle Two. Indecision is the thief of action, so the refund has a firm deadline.

If you plan to begin watching the first presentation after the deadline, proceed only if you feel this investment is a strong choice for you.

Registration is currently closed. Be the first to know when the next round opens up.

Past Pleasure-Seekers Say

Veronica Surges, Public Defender

I am a skeptic and figured the course was too good to be true...Turns out Coffey's Principles are the best foundation I've found for my wellness journey. My friends and family can't believe the change in my health and personality.


Tracy Schiffmiller, Registered Nurse

Coffey’s wisdom and insight are invaluable. There is no way to put a price tag on this information. Every dollar I've ever spent on diet pills, programs, fads, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig...all the time and money spent on false starts...all of it, quadrupled, doesn't begin to touch the value I got out of this class. 

Katey Burgess, LMT

I was amazed at just how insightful your information was. And for the first time, it was a program that actually showed me that I HAVE THE POWER to control that inner beast. There have been so many programs that have told me I should have the "willpower" to resist my prompts without actually teaching me how to RECOGNIZE them. Any person or professional that is interested in dealing with addiction or bad habits NEEDS to take this course. THANK YOU, COFFEY!! 

Lisa Martin, Business Owner

While there are many competent, wise, effective, knowledgeable, etc. professionals that can help, Coffey is the first one that I have come across that identifies and treats the root of our particular strain of biochemical madness (and not just with a topical solution)... Her blend of understanding + gentle ass-kicking = achievable solutions (and I mean that in the nicest possible way!)

Mel Corbin, Bon Vivant

Pleasure Principles blew my mind.  Coffey's compassionate and honest and has a crazy knack for demonstrating complete conviction that every one of her students can succeed...The changes I'm seeing in myself are so rewarding...The phrase "life-changing" is so overused lately I could just puke or punch someone, but for me, this class actually IS life-changing. 

Copyright 2015 (c) All Rights Reserved But Open To Experimentation